Happiness is a universal pursuit, a shared goal across cultures, ages, and genders. It’s an aspiration deeply embedded in our human psyche. Yet, ironically, despite its universal appeal, happiness remains elusive for many. Even in favourable circumstances, individuals often grapple with feelings of anxiety and depression. This paradox raises intriguing questions about the nature of happiness and its pursuit.

The pursuit of happiness is a double-edged sword. While it is a primary value for many, the relentless chase can lead to the opposite effect. Some suggest that the more we chase happiness, the further it slips from our grasp. It seems the harder we try to be happy, the more likely we are to feel the sting of disappointment and discontent.

One contributing factor to this paradox is our tendency to set high expectations. When these expectations are unmet, dissatisfaction follows, creating a vicious cycle where the pursuit itself becomes a source of unhappiness. This phenomenon has been supported by research indicating that placing an intense value on happiness can backfire, leading to lower well-being and increased depressive symptoms.

A particular behaviour that exacerbates this issue is tracking happiness. Monitoring our happiness can pull us out of the moment, disrupting the potential for genuine joy. This concept echoes the sentiment of philosophers who warn that questioning one’s happiness can diminish it. Furthermore, tracking invites comparisons—whether to past experiences or others’ seemingly blissful lives—breeding further discontent.

However, this doesn’t mean we should abandon the quest for happiness altogether. Research shows that happiness is attainable through specific interventions. The challenge lies in finding the right approach. It’s not simply valuing happiness that is problematic but how we approach it. There are both beneficial and detrimental ways to pursue happiness.

Experts propose a model that highlights these differing approaches. It’s acceptable to aspire to happiness; issues arise when we become overly concerned about it. This concern introduces negativity into otherwise positive experiences, moving us away from happiness. It’s essential to differentiate between aspiring to happiness and being concerned about it.

Imagine attending your own birthday party, surrounded by friends and favourite treats. You could simply enjoy the moment, savouring the joy and contentment. Alternatively, you might find yourself questioning why you’re not happier despite everything being perfect. This critical approach introduces negative emotions that can spoil the experience.

This tendency, known as “negative meta-emotions,” involves feelings about feelings—like disappointment in one’s own emotions. Such patterns can detract from happiness even when it’s within reach.

Most experiences are not purely happy; they often contain mixed emotions and ambiguities. Concerns about happiness can magnify these imperfections, overshadowing positive experiences. Conversely, those who focus on enjoying moments without judgment are less likely to fall into this trap.

Research involving over 1,800 participants highlighted this distinction between aspiring to and being concerned about happiness. Those preoccupied with their happiness were less satisfied with life and exhibited more depressive symptoms compared to those who simply aspired to be happy without judgment.

The key takeaway is that it’s not how happy people are or want to be but how they respond to their happiness that matters. There’s a way forward in resolving the happiness paradox. Avoid judging emotions and embrace them as natural parts of life. Acceptance leads to greater well-being and resilience.

Minimising monitoring of our feelings can also help reduce judgment, allowing us to enjoy life without constant evaluation. Engaging fully and mindfully in activities rather than treating them as means to an end fosters genuine happiness.

Social connections play a crucial role in this endeavour. They encourage us to be present and less judgmental, enhancing our overall sense of well-being.

It’s important to acknowledge that psychological approaches are not the only paths to happiness. Societal factors significantly impact individual happiness. Supportive environments that combat inequality and foster social connections enhance happiness levels.

In essence, while achieving happiness is challenging due to various pitfalls along the way, it remains attainable through mindful approaches and societal support systems. Happiness is a core value across human history and cultures—an ideal worth striving for despite its complexities.