In today’s digital era, online communication has become a prevalent method for forming and maintaining relationships, particularly among teenagers and young adults. However, this shift has also given rise to a common practice known as “ghosting,” which involves abruptly cutting off communication with someone without providing an explanation. A recent study in the U.S have shown that approximately 30% of individuals have experienced being ghosted, with higher rates among younger adults.
While ghosting may be a widespread phenomenon, it can have a profound and negative impact on the well-being of the person being ghosted. However, researchers sought to investigate the consequences for the “ghoster” in these situations and explore healthier alternatives to ghosting.
A study conducted by researchers at the University of Vienna surveyed 415 older teens and young adults in Germany about their ghosting behaviours. Participants were asked to report how frequently they had engaged in actions such as suddenly ceasing communication with a partner or breaking off contact with friends or acquaintances on social media without explanation. Additionally, the researchers assessed participants’ levels of overwhelm related to social media or smartphone usage, as well as their self-esteem and depressive symptoms both initially and after a four-month period.
The findings revealed that young individuals who had ghosted friends more frequently at one point in time were more likely to experience depression four months later. This suggests that ghosting can have negative health consequences not only for the individuals being ghosted but also for the ghosters themselves.
Lead researcher, Michaela Forrai in the study emphasised the importance of social connections for overall well-being and highlighted that even limited yet emotionally intense relationships offer significant benefits, which are often underestimated. The lack of relatedness resulting from ghosting can increase the risk of depressive tendencies.
Researcher pointed out that friends play a crucial role in providing social support during challenging times, and ghosting a friend may deprive individuals of this support when they need it most. Moreover, the act of ghosting often elicits feelings of guilt since it is generally viewed as inappropriate behaviour. This guilt can further contribute to a person’s negative self-perception, potentially exacerbating depressive symptoms.
Interestingly, the study found that ghosting romantic partners did not lead to subsequent signs of depression. Researchers speculated that there may be fewer repercussions for ghosting a romantic partner compared to a friend. Having a reputation as a “bad partner” may be less consequential to an individual’s social life than being viewed as a “bad friend,” which could affect multiple relationships. Additionally, the age range of the participants (16 to 25 years old) suggests that they are still exploring romantic partnerships and may perceive ghosting in that context as less severe due to societal expectations.
The reasons behind ghosting can be complex. The study revealed that individuals who felt overwhelmed by online communication were more likely to engage in ghosting within romantic partnerships. Romantic partners often expect frequent and prompt responses, which may not be as crucial within friendships. Additionally, the researchers found that self-esteem influenced ghosting behaviour. Individuals with higher self-esteem were more likely to ghost friends than those with lower self-esteem. Forrai suggested that individuals with higher self-esteem are more inclined to take control of their social networks and may be more forgiving of themselves, resulting in less shame associated with ghosting.
Although ghosting can sometimes be justified in cases where discussing the end of a relationship could put someone in danger or provide temporary relief from communication overload, researchers cautioned against emphasising its positives due to the potential harm it causes others and oneself.
For those who have been ghosted, experts urged understanding that not every instance of ghosting is intentional. Sometimes, people accidentally lose track of conversations or feel embarrassed or guilty about their inability to respond promptly. In cases where valued friendships are involved, she advised reaching out to the person who ghosted you as it might preserve the relationship or provide closure.
However, it is also important that ghosters need to reflect on their actions. Preserving relationships is crucial for overall well-being, and it may be more beneficial for ghosters to admit to feeling overwhelmed or fearing intimacy instead of simply cutting off communication. She suggested sending a quick message to explain one’s unavailability and asking for patience rather than leaving someone hanging without explanation.
Ultimately, kindness towards others, even in difficult situations such as ghosting, is closely tied to happiness and well-being. Acting with kindness and providing an explanation when ending a relationship can spare harm to others and prevent potential negative consequences for oneself.
