Emotional strength is often misunderstood as the ability to suppress or ignore our feelings. However, true emotional strength lies in our capacity to respond to these emotions healthily and constructively. It involves acknowledging and accepting our difficult emotions rather than avoiding or denying them.
To cultivate emotional strength, it is important to develop consistent habits that promote a more tolerant and accepting relationship with our feelings, even the painful ones. Here are four key habits that can help us become more emotionally strong:
Control your attention, not your emotions
When faced with difficult emotions, our instinctive response is to try and control or “fix” them. However, emotions are not directly under our control. Instead of attempting to manipulate our feelings, we can focus on controlling our attention. By consciously choosing what we pay attention to and directing our thoughts towards more positive and productive aspects of our lives, we can effectively navigate through challenging emotions.
Practice compassionate self-talk
Many of us have been taught that being tough on ourselves is the path to strength. However, self-criticism and negative self-talk only intensify our emotional distress. Emotionally strong individuals understand the power of self-compassion. They treat themselves with kindness and understanding, offering the same support they would give to a struggling friend. By practising compassionate self-talk, we can create a nurturing and healing environment for our emotions.
Use values, not feelings, to make decisions
Emotions can be valuable indicators of our experiences, but they should not dictate our decisions. Emotionally strong people listen to their emotions but rely on their values and reason to guide their choices. They understand that emotions can be misleading and might lead us astray. By aligning decisions with our core values and long-term goals, we can make more informed and rational choices.
Set (and enforce) healthy boundaries
Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial for emotional well-being. It may feel uncomfortable or challenging at times, but it is necessary for personal growth and self-care. Emotionally strong individuals understand that they cannot neglect their own needs or constantly accommodate the demands of others. By assertively communicating their boundaries and standing up for themselves, they create a healthier and more balanced life.
Developing emotional strength requires effort and practice, but it is achievable for everyone. By implementing these habits into our daily lives, we can cultivate resilience and become better equipped to handle challenging emotions.
